I took Resurrection Weekend seriously this year. I guess it can have different meanings for everyone, but to me it means, new life, new health, defeating death. Starting over is hard. It’s scary, it plays with your mind, it’s not convenient. The best part about a setback is coming out of it the winner.
Since I Posted My Story…
The day after I posted my story, anxiety hit me HARD. It made me physically sick almost to the point of having to go to the Emergency Room. I even asked the nurses to do the paperwork so I could go to the hospital. The Nurse Practitioner talked me down and I was eventually able to fall asleep. My grandparents arrived and made sure I was comfortable with a cold washcloth and a stuffed animal. I took a breath and my body seemed to restart itself. I was fighting fevers, and I haven’t had a fever in a few days. I couldn’t eat, and I ate A LOT Friday and today. I had my first home cooked meal today. It. Was. The. Best. (Thanks, Grandma!) Friday and Saturday were great days. Saturday I felt like a totally different person. I had two more doses of IV left, I ate a lot the day before, and I was wearing pretty lipstick. I’m a girl, pretty lipstick is my thing. I knew this weekend was a holiday and I was going to get out of the rehab for a little bit. So I felt better.
This morning my mother was going to shave my hair. But someone in the building who was working did it instead because they’re going to beauty school and wanted to practice. So she did. And I had 50 chances to turn back.
I never wanted to turn back. No matter how much my mother tried to talk me out of it. I buzzed it, and I love it SO much. It’s a reset. It is something I had control over. I had control over what to do with my hair. I don’t have much control about this infection beyond doing what the doctor suggested and prayer. But I control who I wanted to cut my hair and how I wanted to have my hair. I can control the fact that my hair was sick and it needed to be gone to heal.
The Finished Product
I am so excited about how it turned out, I want to keep it this way forever. I won’t. But it’s so nice to have one less thing to worry about while recovering. Any suggestions on headwear, let me know. I have a few saved in my cart on Amazon. I’ve received one donation of headwear, but I will never have enough scarves and hats for this summer. Most of the ones I have now will be too hot in summer. Direct me to the right places, please.
I was most excited to show Hannah my scars from my shunt surgeries. I am very blessed to only have had two shunt surgeries my entire life. One when I was born to correct my hydrocephalus, and the second when I was a preteen in puberty and they needed to extend the length of the tubing of the shunt so it drained cerebrospinal fluid to the right place.
I wanted to bring Hannah the comfort of knowing that someone she knew has gone through the same surgery. The scars are pretty cool too. Again with the whole bad girl taking on the world feeling. It’s still fun.
From now on, I’m going to try to post one update a week. I’m off antibiotics, waiting for blood tests, and I see my surgeon at the end of April to talk about surgery. The price I pay for going to one of the best hospitals in the country is I have to wait three weeks to see a specialist. Thankfully, it’s not an emergency surgery. It’s an elective, even if I want it NOW. I’ll survive. I feel good today. It’s one day at a time. I’m praying for healing 99% of my day because I want this to heal faster than what the doctors say.
The encouragement from the last post was INCREDIBLE. I was so overwhelmed. I cried. But it was everything I needed. Thank Y’all so much. I’m so thankful for such encouraging people in my life. I love each and every one of the people who reached out the past few days. It’s far more than I ever imagined. Keep sharing the story though, because it might do someone some good. And that’s all I ever want with what’s happening to me. Be a little happy, even in times where it’s not the easiest thing to do in the situation. I’m still okay, I’ll be better soon. But for today I feel like I could conquer the world, and I live for these days. This is my Resurrection Weekend. My defeat of dying from this infection.