Feature Friday

Written By: Adara Ingram



Throughout adolescence, it is common for a child to be haunted by fears related to various things including monsters, ghosts, and darkness. As we grow into adults, our fears of the dark turn into deadline anxiety, and our fears of ghosts evolve into the very real possibility of an encounter with a stranger who can seriously harm you. All 7 billion of us have separate and unique fears that feel just as paralyzing and draining as the next person’s. In my small small world in small-town North Carolina, I, Adara, have a mind-numbing, physically-draining, paralyzing fear of completely obliterating all of my goals for future-Adara by continuing to make mistake after mistake until I wind up living at Mom’s house until I’m in my late 40’s.

I spent a very large portion of my life realizing and dwelling on the mistakes I’ve made, that I didn’t stop to attempt to climb out of the hole I was digging. It took me 21 years to realize I need to stop thinking about what I should theoretically do, and go do it! I now understand that I was claiming and switching college majors like T-shirts, because I was thinking about how I would feel stuck in whichever field I chose. I knew I wanted to be my own boss for as long as I could remember adults asking “what do you want to be when you grow up?”, so why wasn’t I spending time writing up a business plan?

As I grew, I came to desire not only the idea of managing myself, but to completely own and control some type of business. I didn’t think enough of myself to consider an entrepreneurial or free-lancing path, until I had someone very influential enter my life and force me to realize that not only I, but anyone with drive can so anything they put their mind to, and work for! I’ve always heard I could do anything I wanted, and I always knew that I am going to make mistakes, but I never realized that just because I knew I would make mistakes, it didn’t change the fact that I was still afraid of making those mistakes!

Some fears can defeat you or keep you from doing things that you really want to do. A fear of flying in an airplane could keep you from travelling and touring other countries. Fear of commitment could keep you from the beautiful and lifelong journey of falling in love. Some fears can motivate you. A fear of failure can push you to do great things that you never thought were possible. Fears can hold you back, as well as push you forward. It’s up to each and every one of us to look inside, find our fears, and either stand up and conquer them, or let them drive us to something greater. I believe the meaning of life is to ultimately find yourself and completely know and love yourself. I also believe we never truly achieve this. The greatest journey of life is learning new things about yourself, as well as bettering yourself and conquering your fears each and every day.

Do you have any fears that drive you?



About the Author:

Hello, my name is Adara! I live with my dog, Oscar, my cat, Kitty, and my boyfriend, Chad. We have been through a lot since we’ve began our journey into adulthood together, and my goal is to help others learn what no one bothers to tell you before leaving home! Find her blog at http://www.livingandsearching.com

1 Comment

  1. Ann

    February 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    I definitely have this and I didn’t even know there was a name for it. I started college a little over two years ago and have switched my major three times. I went from Librarian, to teacher, and now to a plain AA. I really suffer from a fear of failure and I think that has a lot to do with having a disability and feeling the constant need to prove myself.

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